Having Something to Work On

Baroque Figures, Study No. 4. Ottobeuren, Germany, 2018.

So, a couple of weeks back I picked up my camera (yes, still my trusty old Canon 5D Mark ii) for the first time in, literally, a year.  That’s right, one year without doing any photography.  Zero.  Zip.  Nada.

That’s an eternity for me.  Since I became serious about photography back around 2012, it had been a fairly constant presence in my life.  Sure, there were dry spells here and there.  But nothing even close to a year.

I don’t know why I haven’t done any photography this last year.  All I can say is there was no drive, no excitement to do it.  And without that drive and excitement, it’s hard to motivate yourself to get out and photograph.  Making photographs really is a lot of work, you really have to want to be doing it.

The funny thing is, I didn’t really miss doing it either.  I didn’t miss it, but in retrospect, I feel like the quality of my life decreased.  Looking back at that period now, I think I felt like a bit of an automaton, just going through the everyday motions of sleeping, working, socializing, existing, but not much else.

Now, having new images to work on, it feels meaningful.  By meaningful, I feel like it makes my life more meaningful.  I write that, and it sounds pretentious and silly.  And it is – hardly anyone knows who I am as a photographer, nor cares whether I make photographs or not.  Photography is, objectively, probably the least meaningful thing I do.  And yet it feels just the other way around.

Anyway, it’s good to be back to making photographs.  Not the one in this post, of course, this capture was made back in 2018 and edited sometime thereafter.  It’s among a backlogged stock of more or less finished images on my hard drive that I draw on once a month or so to keep this blog going.  Hopefully, at some point in the not to distant future, I’ll be able to put up a few with a 2021 date.

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